20 Weeks and a prayer request

Hello my friends:)


     Yesterday, we traveled to Columbus, GA to visit our doctor and have the 20 week ultrasound.  I, of course, was feeling very nervous as usual, but Shawn assured me that everything would be fine.  We left our house with plenty of time to spare (because of the gender testing fiasco) and got to the office about 10 minutes early.  Good thing we left early because we hit road construction for about 15 minutes.  Our ultrasound technician is AMAZING and she works so quickly and explains everything.  We were able to hear little Charlie's heart beating once more: about 152 beats per minute.  That's incredible....I can't believe their little hearts go so fast.  We were so tickled during the ultrasound because Charlie had his legs crossed at the ankles and refused to reveal his private area.  If this trip would have been the gender reveal, most likely we wouldn't have found out!  He did some VERY cute things during the ultrasound:  smacked his little mouth open and shut a few times and had his hand resting below his chin.  I said, "look, honey!  he's rubbing his beard:) "  We're overwhelmed with how obvious it is that Charlie is a little human.....  Life is such a miracle--at all stages of development.  Our ultrasound ended and we took the results to our doctor.  She happily informed us that everything looks great!  Our little man is growing right on schedule and we couldn't be happier.  If you haven't gotten a chance to see the photo on FB, are two of the 20 week ultrasound:

Charlie Mattison @ 20 weeks

Feet crossed and not budging!

We are so grateful that his development seems to be progressing on schedule.  I can feel more and more movement every day--  he moves around during the day and sleeps at night.(which could prove to be very beneficial for me!)  I love feeling his little feet kick me--right now he's feet up near my belly button and head down.  I'm sure these movements are gonna become uncomfortable at some point, but they remind me that he's alive and kicking! haha:)

     One a more serious note, during this pregnancy I have had some terrible dreams.  Each of my dreams that I've had have been of me losing a loved one.  I wake up crying and out of sorts, terrified in general.  Now I know that dreams don't always signify certain things and sometimes they can just be the result of eating too much before bed!  But I've really been processing these dreams in my head and I've realized that I have a VERY big sin and fear that this pregnancy has brought to light.  I'm terrified of losing people I love and not being in control.  The fear that I have of losing Charlie is extremely real, as is the fear that I have of losing someone in my family.  I worry constantly about my husband, my nephews and niece, brothers and sisters, grandmas, and mom and dad.  My worries have doubled now that I have in-laws that I cherish like my own parents and grandparents.  When we experienced Whit's emergency during his 3rd week of life, I was a wreck.  It took me about 4 months to bring myself to hold a newborn again.  I didn't realize that anxiety in my heart was causing me to react a certain way and to doubt the sovereignty of our Almighty God and to rest in His goodness.  This sin is controlling my thoughts and I believe, sneaking its way into my subconscious in the form of nightmares.  

   I'm telling you all this because #1, I need to confess this sin.  I know all mothers worry--- that it's just something we do.  But, worry is debilitating my life in many areas and causing me to live without joy.  #2, I want to be at peace with God and the path He has for my life- knowing that He really is looking out for my best interest, and the interest of my family- because we love Him and He is good and He is for us.  #3, I want to hide God's word in my heart (especially verses about anxiety and God's sovereignty) that I can rest on His truth and so that I will not sin against Him.  #4.  I want the best for our baby.  It is not best for Charlie that worry while he's in the uterus, or that I suffocate him by sheltering him from everything when he's growing up in this world.  My heart must change to trust that Charlie is God's- first and foremost.  Shawn and I are stewards of what God has given to us.  We will protect, love, nurture, and discipline Charlie, and admonish him in the ways of the Lord--but ultimately, He is the Lord's.  I know this to be true in my spirit, and through the word- now I just need to daily remind myself.  

   If you've read thus far, you are dedicated to our little family in some way and I thank you for your support.  I ask that as a gift to us, that you would pray for us and my heart especially.  If you would like, please feel free to leave a verse on which we would be able to meditate.  Thank you for taking the time to be involved in our lives, to watch our little boy grow, and to pray for us.  We love you all!

Jaclyn, Shawn and Charlie Mattison

19 Weeks

Hey everyone:)

   We've had some busy goings on in the past few weeks!  I know I'm not doing really well at keeping updated on this blog, but I'm trying.  Shawn's been out of town twice in the past 3 weeks, I've had friends visit Alabama, parents visit, I've gone to Greenville for a wedding, planted a garden, and lots more!
   On week 17, mom and dad came down to visit us so they could be there for the early gender determination ultra sound.  I gave Charlie a talking to and let him know he better show his goods because Poppy and Ghee Ghee drove a long way to see if they were having a grandson or grand daughter!  Of course, in Lyles fashion, we were running late, and I got sick on the 45 minute drive to Columbus.  When we arrived, we were told they wouldn't be able to do the ultrasound because the next patient was supposed to arrive in 3 minutes.  I was about to burst into tears when my sweet husband asked, "what if the next lady is late?  can we just go ahead and begin the ultrasound and leave when she gets here?"  The lady said it was up to me, so I quickly said, "LET'S DO IT NOW!!"
   I ate a big breakfast, drank a lot of fluids and gave Charlie the pep talk, all so he would cooperate.  Sure enough, it didn't take the lady long at all to find him.  She said the baby was sitting indian style and we knew it should be easy to determine the gender.  Within a minute or two, I saw something and I gasped and shouted,  "IS IT A BOY????!!!"  And sure enough, when she stopped, she pointed to what I was looking at and said, "He sure is!"  I knew all along we were going to have a little boy, so everyone was very excited.  We left the ultrasound room and just as we were waiting to get on the elevator, the next patient came up!  Here are some photos of our sweet fella-  Charlie Mattison Bohanan (1st name after Charlie Bohanan, Shawn's late papaw.  And middle name after my twin brother, David Mattison Lyles.)

It's very difficult to describe how much I love this little baby already.  Lord, develop this little one with only the care that you can provide.  He is Yours and in Your hands.  

As promised, here is the photo of me (although this is NOT at 17 weeks- it's at 19 weeks).  Belly is definitely growing.  I had a moment of reality when shawn tickled me and I tried to suck in but was TOTALLY incapable of doing so:)  One more week to halfway!  Pray for us as we'll go in next week for Charlie's 20 week appointment.  This is the one where they do all the measurements and make sure he is growing healthy.  Of course, it's a ball of stress for me!  All that I can do is continue praying that God is holding my little one and forming him into who He would have him to be.  Pray for us all:)

Jacalina at 19 weeks (Lord help me-I'm gonna be ginormous!)